did you gift it away?

sisters.

what would you you do if after working all day ,being patient with rude people,guarding your tongue and looking at your checking account (to see a slap on the face after the decimal point)  you go to the   look at the prices and process frustration starts again.  there is a person coming in line but you were obviously first and you are sort of  pushed aside.  the cashier then states that you can come to the front since you were there first and the sweet person you are reluctantly decline so you wont cause a stir. 

the customer finishes with their purchase and out the clear grey sky......ding  ding ding, congratulations you sir are OURth customer.  you just won a year of free groceries with a 500.00 monthly limit and any residual balance will go to your personal checking  account.  you know the checking account with the slapping decimal points at the end of your balance.

have you ever done it?  have you given your blessings away?   told G-d no thank you.  every time you turn away a blessing you are setting someone else up for what was allocated with you in mind.

don't feel bad for we all have  done it, we've all been there second guessing ourselves.  when were we taught that thinking about our own well being is toxic.  i know there is a balance but you are strong enough to get their. you can get to the place where you give to you and distribute to others after.  see if your temple is not healthy how will you teach someone about health.  if your temple is not clean how will you teach anyone that they can come off of drugs.  we have to FREE our self and the stigma associated with caring for ourselves.  if you are sick and a single mother with no family who will care for your children?  if you are the bread winner for  your home and you let someone have your car because they want to go on a job interview, they don't come back on time who will clock in for you?

get yourself to a healthy place of thinking of you.  i... insert name here do promise my self that i will work diligently on taking care of me. go ahead.  say it.  now take this time to think about some of the things that you have 'GIFTED' away and start to focus on being faithful to yourself.  if others view you as the person who will sacrifice more than they are accustomed to receiving eventually their appreciation will go to a sense of entitlement and self gratification.  you are a blessing, you are in measurable, and you deserve the same loving care you distribute.  so from now on appreciate yourself and celebrate the gift that you are to you.  remember you were created perfectly which means you can have the best.

namaste' kindred sisters....  

WHEN IS

namaste' kindred:

it is has been some time since i shared my thoughts.  so how has everyone been?  i pray you embrace your change with grace, diligence, freedom and last but not least, LOVE.

WHEN IS......

so i was witnessing someone on and in the process of celebrating their anniversary.  there was another women who was having an anniversary as well but could not celebrate with her love due to extenuating circumstances.  i will get straight to the point.  how can we be so numb to feeling some one else who is in pain, especially in our joy?  I am in no certain terms suggesting that we relinquish our joy for their pain but to be mindful and considerate that all experiences are valid.  there is a balance between celebrating your joy and empathizing with someone who is not joyous.  it is called compassion!  we must be compassionate with one another.  considerate. aware. alert. neighborly.

maybe if we barter with universe things would clear up for us ALL.  let's barter hurt for healing, pain for purpose, anger for peace, clutter for cleanliness.  these are mere examples but they still impede our journey.  i am now more comfortable with my life challenges and i do have battles with the scars that others attempt to leave on me. i too am a work in progess. G_d's love is my salve, ointment, elixir, balm, tourniquet, medicine, and my band aid.  i have to just ingest, apply, and let it work.

are we wrong for wanting more?  NAH!  when you miss sight of your blessings are you saying "no thank you" to the universe?  are we saying we don't deserve better?  many of us hold ourselves hostage.  we don't grab our potential blessings.  most people know whether they can be with a person once they start to spend quality time with them.  we sometimes get into the role of becoming like bounty paper towels "the quicker picker upper/fixer upper".  we CAN NOT fix ANYONE.  they must submit to whatever it is that is holding them hostage and give it to G_d.  only G_d can fix them but they must be willing to put in the work.  even after raising children we can not fix them.  now while our souls alarm has rung and said NO this is not the person/job/ opportunity for you why do we go further.  why are we allowing others to block our potential?  could it be because we have become accustomed to not having?

these are a lot of questions; yes i know but sit and ask yourself?  look in the mirror and ask yourself.  am i deserving of better?  do i truly want better?  only you can answer this and if you can not at this time  i suggest you go deeper.  so MANY people scared me from the idea of marriage.  i was listening to people who were coming to me for advice on their relationships (me the woman who was the spiritual dumping ground for ALL OF MY RELATIONSHIPS).  lied to, lied on, and blah blah blah.  i'm sure all of us women and men alike can attest to the pain associated with betrayal.  i was a waste land amid LIFE.  ironic i know but TRUE nonetheless.  there were people who were/are in relationships for years and here they come with their personal dramas as  i was embarking on taking a chance on LOVE YET AGAIN.  straight confusion and G_d is not the author of such.  after years of becoming accustomed to someone's scent, mannerisms, etc.,  i GAVE UP and LOVE CAME BACK TO VISIT with me yet again.LOVE CAME BACK and TOOK ME OVER.  but the enemy of my life which is the opposite of who i am came and disguised my helping people as a tool to get me to NOT BELIEVE AGAIN.  my thought was how in the world am i going to make it if these people can't even get it together?  why am i being approached with these issues?  where were these people when "my man" left me?  i had a real break through.

have you been there?  been in a place where you are fighting for your survival and here comes your kryptonite? the very thing i was BEAT UP WITH and was fearful of (LOVE) was being threatened with others haphazard ways.  i had to SEPARATE myself from the venom that was leaking from their tongues.  THEY HAD NO CLUE that they were being used to slow my PROCESS and to explain it to them would be to no avail.  sometimes beloved you will know when you will not have to explain yourself.  YOU WILL JUST MOVE.  cut people off, jobs off, thought processes off.  YOU WILL HAVE TO GET FREE.  you can sit and pacify a person and their ego but in the long run joy is for everyone but only those who receive it will live with it.  so in other words if a person is not sucking life out of you then they will eventually find someone else to suck life from. 

it was terrifying to me because i AM/WAS a people PLEASER. it's a balancing act.  i have to figure out if pleasing someone will help or hinder me and my growth.   i cared what everyone felt and i want good for them all.  BELOVED IF I DON'T WANT GOOD FOR MYSELF, what else MATTERS?  PLEASE I  ask you to WANT better for yourself.  you so deserve it.  do not insult G_d when blessings are given you.  ACCEPT them ALL... everyone.  so tell me...

WHEN IS

I AM JAGUAR PAW

namaste' kindred:

i am finding myself in the right places designed for me at the right times.  i love the universe and all of her opportunities.  i think it necessary for me to quiet my soul and shut myself out from the world at times so that i can hear the drafting ideas of the LORD.

this day i was awakened out of my slumber at about 4:00 a.m. and became enlightened by a character from Apocolypto (Mel Gibson) named, Jaguar Paw.  i have seen this movie before but there were different things that appealed to me this time.  there are walks in our life where some things don't stick out to us until it is necessary. what a tenacious young man.  while i was studying his character i became incited by his fear and questioned why he was running so hard once he got away from the grips of the enemy.  sometimes your enemy can dwell in your own tent or one near by.  that is another topic. i realized that i had a lot of similarities to the character Jaguar Paw. 

Young, loving, nurturing, caring, insightful, curious, tenacious and well the list goes on.  Jaguar reminded me that if you quiet the spirit you can hear the universe speak via dreams, signs, people, places, and things.  when they came upon another tribe passing by them in el yunge (jungle) there were questions that Jaguar Paw wanted to ask the other tribesmen but his father wouldn't allow it.  kindred if there is something you seek ALLOW NO man to stop you.  it can save you a lot of time and heartache.  had Jaguar Paw responded to his spirit it would of saved the tribe or at least given more of them a fighting chance at survival.  the sage is a wonderful person to have in your life, this is true but there will be times when you must allow your journey to become your own.  no one can give you the answers, follow your spirit guide.  GOD will NEVER STEER YOU WRONG....NEVER.

there was a fight within Jaguar Paw, a fight to rebel or just to submit to being overtaken.  he was saved.  the universe knew his assignment and aided in keeping hin ALIVE.  has the universe been speaking to you?  are you tapping in?  there is greatness registered in your name.  Jaguar was saved by the Sun, he was saved by his friend, he jumped the water fall and wound up right back where he was stolen from.  who stole you, came into your camp and attempted to slaughter your spirit?  are you going to let them have you or will you realize the greatness that is within you and FIGHT.  you don't need to exert a ton of energy just realize whom you are and find you place in the world.  go deep within.  when Jaguar Paw got back to his forest he stopped running and used the elements in which he was surrounded by all of his life.  he became the hunter and not the hunted. 

once you begin to identify who you are the tables will turn, you will no longer become the defeated.  also you will not hunt for sport but you will be a victor in the things you set out to accomplish.  once you do these things....LISTEN to your spirit man, don't deny him.  Jaguar Paw had a mission and that was his wife and child.  what is your mission?  what will you do to save it?  then i encourage you to GO, GET, WHAT'S YOURS.  it is your GOD GIVEN RITE..

i am JAGUAR PAW.

until the next time

namaste' kindred.

WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT

EVERYTHING..  it has everything to do with it.  do you select who you will love?  have you made up pre-requisites about who will be your love mate?  why?  does GOD select who will get what type of air to fill their lungs, is it manufactured and distributed only to the elite?  why of course not my beloveds.  GOD LOVES US ALL..

so why is it that we put limits on GODS' masterpieces?  there is such a variety of personalities, spirits, souls, beings out here in the beautiful world.  why limit yourself to what society or what history has said.  aren't we supposed to be creating our OWN STORY.. let's call it OWNSTORY... i have my ownstory and it is coming together like the perfectly put together puzzle.  see i am FINALLY FREE of me.  free of my control but i really am not controlling anything.  when giving up what i thought i was mastering... i am truly becoming a master in my own rite.  GOD gives and that's ALWAYS worked for me in the past.  it's when i get in the WAY that things go astray.

have you ever listened and heard..NO... RUN.. GET AWAY..FIRE.. but stayed anyway to have what you believe to be the last of your heart torn into shreds.. well you are not alone... SLOW down and learn one another (the inside, the mind), the physique will fade in time.  get to know them. please don't do it out of loneliness you make terrible bed fellows when this is done. 

i have sat here for two years being CLEANSED and HEALED.  i had to stop fighting my creator and realize that my life BELONGS TO HIM.. not me.  i had to get rid of the anger and disappointment in myself and my old .  there are no labels placed it just was what is was and it is what it is.  am i angry now...NOT  A DROP. i am THANKFUL for all the lessons learned, the opportunity to share our families, our story but not i have my... yeah you guessed right..... OWNSTORY... i have my own.  the one that GOD gives me daily to write, and writing is what i shall do. 

i have taken my heart of of the box without fear (well some, i'm not perfect) but it's so AWAKENING.  another soul is trying to truly COMMUNICATE and SHARE with me HEAVEN.  wanting to take up my space, air, time.  the precious air that i spoke to your earlier about.  i am being blessed with another being who out of all the other souls on this planet is smiling with and because of me.  UNAFRAID (well a little bit he's not perfect either). WILLING TO WAIT ON ME AND MY QUEENDOM.. (i say that's right).. I AM SO WORTH IT.  listens to my hearts' beat, wait patiently for ME.. for me because he says he understands and sees' my value.  

believe me love is INTRUSIVE.. it comes without NOTICE and it's a force that can not be RECKONED with, if it's real.  it's fun, zealous,greedy (at times),challenging,euphoric.  am i in love.. uhm no but i am WELL on MY WAY and well he's already there.. been waiting for a couple of years.. (uhm can you say big pimpn :) but seriously when you know you know.  i knew then but wanted a challenge.  wanted to win. somethings you won't win and if GOD'S HAND isn't on it.. well you should of figured this out by now.

GO GET FREE.. free from yourself doubt, don't' be concerned with what mere man will say. they wasn't there with you wiping ALL THE TEARS away. they didn't chase away the single persons' boogie monsters. you had to allow yourself time to heal.  WELL LIVE.. LIVE UNCONDITIONALLY AND WITHOUT APOLOGIES.    i am...
WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT..
absolutely everything.

namste' kindred... until next time..GOD WILLING

LIFE'S TAPESTRY: CROWN JEWEL

LIFE'S TAPESTRY: CROWN JEWEL: Are you comfortable? Yes you, are you comfortable? Tell me why, why is this? I am comfortable but only for short spurts at a time. I...

LIFE'S TAPESTRY: CROWN JEWEL

LIFE'S TAPESTRY: CROWN JEWEL: Are you comfortable? Yes you, are you comfortable? Tell me why, why is this? I am comfortable but only for short spurts at a time. I...

CROWN JEWEL

Are you comfortable?  Yes you, are you comfortable?  Tell me why, why is this?

I am comfortable but only for short spurts at a time.  I am constantly being plagued with "something new".  There is a freshness that comes upon me and sometimes stirs me out of my slumber.  I've learned to keep something besides my bed to grab and write upon so that i can call on the universe to bless me with the very thing that was placed in my crown jewel of my body; my MIND.  There is a thing that sits inside me and it causes all kind of thoughts to just ride in wave after wave.  It's a activation of my cerebellum, a motivator for my cerebrum.  It loosens my Broca's area and allows my words to flow to the tip of my tongue and out of my mouth or on paper.

There is a LOT to being comfortable.  There is comfort in knowing that these beautiful occurrences happen on the daily.  We must celebrate not being comfortable.  Give our 'crown jewel' ALL THE WORK IT CAN TAKE..  It wants to be used, it desires to be challenged.  It has so much space that is not being occupied and you can change all of that... JUST STOP BEING COMFORTABLE.  You don't necessarily need to leave your city to get 'uncomfortable'.  Try picking up a book that you have wanted to read in forever in a day, activate your occipital lobes.  




Even when you dream you mind is moving, brain creating.  Come OUT of your comfort zone and use this beautiful vehicle you have been given.  Drive it to the brink, ride until the wheels come off, trust me THEY WON'T :l). 

Life is soooo waiting on us to catch up.  Sit and watch the creativity of a child.  Do you know they are using more of their 'crown jewel' than we big people do.

 Get into the groove of life and find the thing that 'CHALLENGES' you to be uncomfortable.  You will find that it is quite rewarding.  You will see life with a new view.  Your senses will become heightened, things will be funnier, you can see the child in you that you stuffed away while dealing with the every day hum drum of life.  Your body and soul will REWARD you.  

GO GET FITTED FOR YOU CROWN JEWEL..


namaste' kindred.